THREE WORD STORY STRUNG TOGETHER SO FAR

One fine day I watched as The dirty old dog next door returned from work ... and licked his... his very long legs. Shockingly, the.. Next door neighbour watched with binoculars as he shot his load all two barrels, at the cat next door. Her husband had a massive long haired cat called Megawatt which had a broken tooth and a bad attitude towards Harleys. One morning Megawatt strutted out shouting ive got a bit of Finchy's hair on my bottom end! And it tickles! You lot can go take a jar of honey and daub it All over the Harley next door, while Michael Bolton took off his g-string, and played Uriah Heep's 'Wizard' accompanied by BlackHornet. Kitten Art decided enough is enough , stamped her foot and ran out shouting ive got the hots for a steaming bowl of stew made from Hanna's old boyfriend, who never even noticed the ticking time bomb labeled, don't open... under the seat and well hidden from prying eyes. However, that morning it had been raining quite hard and seepage had run down her nose onto her lovely prized Busa like acid rain. The nearby blind tramp laughed his socks off at her attempts to console her dearest friend, who happened to be cleaning the tramps dirty grime encrusted purple quality street. Meanwhile, he had not taken time to put on extra thick rubber, lubricated long sleeved gloves before he fiddled with Mega's buttons as Les slowly led Mega into the Tramp's cardboard dungeon to perform an 'oil change' Megawatt then said that he had special oil, imported..... from a refinery to lube his utensils, equipment and........... anus ready for the paying guests saying ram it home baby, I'm feeling horny for it's been so hard to come since the age of 60. Still Viagra is available from Guzzi Rob's secret stash of pills and potions. They cost him what was left of his pension which meant that that there would be no money for his weekly Full English breakfast that he always ate, before doing the next-door neighbour. Who was always inappropriately touching himself outside schools where..... the wheelie bins overflowed with broken mannequin heads and gorilla’s toe jam. Aghast, KittenArt said " "I will never ever ever ever go near that sporty because he never washes his net curtains nor behind his ears where allegedly he had a rash that he continuously applied cream to reduce the stench However, elsewhere there were little dribbling simple fools who thought Chickie might fancy a moped in fuchsia pink to match her finger nails. Only need to shave her back & front before she trowels on the Immac, thinking "... I miss RoadWart's vibrating Epilator and 'special' soothing cream". Meanwhile Finchy buffed all the chrome on his trike dreaming of real ale as he sipped some Pimms thru' the gusset of Blade's y-fronts while balancing a banana on his upturned arse cheeks . Suddenly, his wife declared that she had a fruit fetish and would do anything for The Chuckle Brothers. Alas they were way on holiday so she settled for finchy and promptly fell asleep again. Suddenly Ducky who was passing wind loudly, followed thru' & said ''fekin shit! ive..... burnt a hole . Meanwhile the border collie had ran off in search of a blonde nymphet known as Labrador because she had no time to deal with her bad hair day. So thought sod this, I’m going riding, but where have the SECB stickers gone. This just won’t do! Another gungy plug slipped out of the front cylinder onto the floor. And moved slowly over the carpet collecting hair and...... finally coming to rest in Hanna's small but ample rug , Tug it harder said Blade, breathlessly "faster until it.." you can`t go I haven't "arrived" sobbed frustrated Blade lubricating his piston.... rings in preparation for the time of initial insertion . The excitement proved a letdown & it leaked everywhere...., from his shaft down the bearings to his hardened..... Throbbing big end............. Meanwhile Barry jostled with a spanner to undo the Tightened ring piece Its very tight.... , too much loctite not enough slippery, cross threaded nuts as Hayabusa Dave knows guilty as charged But with help.....​

From a little mouse called Matt they managed to jiggle his nuts suck, squeeze, bang with two strokes..... Rebore was needed............ pissed n broke much tears shed Fek this i'm........ off to Sporty's to drink all His beer and Stop!!!! cried a ​

Disheartened Kevin, "Why pick on me?" i'll slap you up side down and sideways, until you say you'll tell my mummy that you saw me touching it with a big 2ft pry bar whilst wearing gloves and a woolly black ski mask 'how elegant'' said.....the gay copper..... as he peeled off his helmet.... and exposed a shiny, wet, ginger rusty knob, that.... dripped constantly as the postules popped. and he screamed the house down.... running as fast as a mongoose wearing flippers & a butt plug . The magistrate frowned.... , sighed & opened his back door suck, squeeze, bang the magistrate liked... the brown envelope that the evidence as white powder which he promptly cut and snorted until his toes turned green and his balls dropped to the floor . Upon recovering, he hobbled over to Sharon's place & demanded a refund... & a free bondage/whipping session using yoghurt, mackerel and a Smokey the bear costume while lying across the knee of a three legged racer called Paul. How he smiled but one eye watched as Russell slid round the barmaid’s ample bosom with hard nipples.... Yes! She cried "That’s the best tweak I’ve had! Since Les put three chickens & one Llama in my steamy Aga... "Help help" cried the Llama crapping.... on HD's favorite patchwork quilt. His eyes rolled skywards in ecstasy, whilst under one armpit he kept a copy of the 2010 Gaydar list he borrowed from Les, his playmate ​

who enjoyed the ample sized sausage he gave to... Richard's hotdog stall all smothered in poo off his..... smelly pooey shoe...... steaming in the ........ Pan on the A22 passing herstmonceux while pulling the skin off his..... ketchup covered sausage while his wife....... was at home bugger! she said....... as she hit .. The bottle again. For the third jar of beetroot and potato vodka sat and Cryed but had no other person to.................... share it with...... so decided to go out and buy ./.............. an inflatable man........ He was hard as a rock...... ... a molten rock, like a melted spaniel's turd, so when the older and wiser... Stars 'n Stripes arrived swinging his chopper in a frantic effort to stop the flies settling around the edge of his helmet. Christ! That stinks...... what my cheese No the pickle onion flavored crisps on your helmet......... is a tattoo of a naked mermaid sucking a cod's liver oil. the cod smiled and smiled and ,said fillet, up
​

 

Makes for strange reading. You lot are weird.

 

You must have toooo much time on your hands Rusty

 

i have m8, ime stretched out on the floor with a bad back (, it took me one & half hours to copy and paste that lot

 

as les said it makes some strange reading, dont think it will be a best seller, but is amusing

 

Took an hour and a half to read it, what an almighty waste of words! Lol. well done Rusty, I think?

 

Crikey - 5 minutes is some going! I knew I'd never get used to this computing lark.

 

after a glass of wine or 2 and a few beers this read like any good book

 

Another month or three and we can send it to a publisher!

 

May you make a speedy recovery.......

 

awwww, thnx kitten, ime going up 2 the six-bells at chaily on 1st april any 1 interested ? xx

 

Working Sunday.....may go up on the Saturday though

 

Chiddingly, you numbnut

 

u know where i meant xx