Just Curious

How does everyone deal with unwanted doorbell ringers? i.e. Jehovah Witnesses?
I apologise if anyone on here happens to be JW, but hassling people in their own homes isn't the way to convert people!
Today, I had two Jehovah Witnesses at my door. In days of old, the "sorry I am a witch" used to send them scuttling off. Then when they became "cool" with that, a "would you like to come in, I am just sacrificing a chicken" worked.
Being inventive with how to deal with unwanteds is way more interesting than just being downright rude, so, has anyone got a tale or two to tell of doorway dealings?

 

Depends on my mood and if im bored or not. Often i listen whilst making the appropriate grunts and nods, probably for 3 mins while the 'opportunist caller'' lays out their opening gambit whilst trying hard to conceal the copy of the watchtower in their clammy hand. Then (as politely as possible) ill ask them about their interpretation of 'God's' views on prostitution and sexuality (this seldom goes well, which is often the point, but politeness is key to sustaining the conversation) i then back up my comments with some facts picked up (about Equal Opportunity, Prejudice. Discrimination etc at Uni ) about contradictions that exist in the bible. Once, ive had the eldest granny jehova place her hands over the ears of the (obligatory) child' with them so as to protect them from my ''blaspheming''. .... Result

Other times i simply say .... GERRoFFMoYLAND.

 

Tell them you're a Devil worshipper might do it....... or quote some of the bible about Soddom and Gommorah.......

 

my usual tactic is just a plain simple fuck off, sometimes its "so you stopped me having a wank for what?" other times i just look out the window at them so they can see me then just ignore them.....sorry not very helpful but thats just me

 

Not asking for help.....if necessary, I would quite happily take a chainsaw to the door and fire it up and smile sweetly. Was merely curious as to how everyone else deals with unwanted doorbell ringers.

 

That is the expected reply innit?

 

My mum's a JW, so I'm a little too 'familiar' with those hypocritical fu*kers. If you ask to be recorded as a 'DO NOT CALL', they are legally obliged to leave you alone and can only call on you once a year to ensure that their records are correct (and not to preach at you). You don't have to give a reason - just tell them that you don't buy their brand of BS!

Hope that helps!

 

Had the B**t***d* call at my present place on Xmas Day for the first three years I lived here, first two years was a polite but firm F***OFF Last time they called I chased them down the lane with a golf club and they finally got the message

 

Don't get them here but a mate in Yorkshire does. He's a (sort of er...disbelieving) RE teacher & history professor, so knows his stuff & loves it when they call. He bores the arse of them till they end up backing away from him when he starts preaching very loudly. He even followed them down the road once, bellowing at them to answer him, then went home & pissed himself laughing. He's been blacklisted by them now, much to his disappointment..

 

i just say ... NO thank you !!!!!

 

I used to live in Brooklyn, just down the road from what I was told was JW's Global Headquarters. All the trainees from all over America would come there for training, and by Day 3 of their courses, they would be told to learn how to go out into the world and speak with householders to try to interest them in the True Way of the Lord. We'd spot these very earnest young men and women (always in pairs, always carrying briefcases and always, always wearing beatific smiles, so revealing immediately that they weren't from these 'ere parts).

I tried always to be polite but firm in telling them that they were the fourth/fifth/tenth callers we'd had that week and that there were some folks down on Atlantic Avenue who were in serious need of Enlightenment. I would offer them some copies of interesting religious tracts in case they were running short (left by some of the numerous previous callers) and they would bow and retire backwards - amazing.

Sometimes I wonder if they all made it back to the Headquarters building or if my sending them to the Moslem quarter of New York had caused some religious fur to fly.

 

Invite them in and play them this...............

 

Truly troubled souls - maybe you could hand the callers a pre-recorded cassette of that and give them the band's address so they can set off on a quest to bring Peace and Harmony. They'd get lots of points for that conversion!

 

Just for those that haven't a clue......

In light of the passage, the most common response to the question "What was the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah?" is that it was homosexuality. That is how the term "sodomy" came to be used to refer to anal sex between two men, whether consensual or forced. Clearly, homosexuality was part of why God destroyed the two cities. The men of Sodom and Gomorrah wanted to perform homosexual gang rape on the two angels (who were disguised as men). At the same time, it is not biblical to say that homosexuality was the exclusive reason why God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were definitely not exclusive in terms of the sins in which they indulged.

How the hell did Brighton get away with it?

 

I think a burning cross and a pillow case over the head will suffice, especially if any of the JW are coloured chappies.......

 

Wire the doorbell to the mains...... Simples...

 

Ooh I like THAT one!

 

At the window......is this mid wank? If so, I do hope you clean your windows on a regular basis!!!

Sorry, thunked it, had to type it, I blame the JD meself